Thankyou so much for your love, your time, the efforts you put in to see my smile,
the way you act all silly just so i can giggle a little & snap out of my unforgiving moments of slight 'depression'.
I've never been so convinced of love & how it might actually exist.
I've always been doubtful of everything but myself.
& today i stand firm (merely but clearly ), confessing how i now am most doubtful of myself, & you're the only thing im sure of.
I'm sure that i can give you my all, because i feel your love everyday.
& giving you my all wouldn't be a waste, because in whatever that comes i'll know that what we
did was out of love, & i will be glad that i gave my all, & i gave love a shot.
& we might, then, be sitting on our floating chairs, reminiscing on the good O'days where we did
a thousand silly things. & we argued about silly petty things that we would never be able to guess because we forgot, while we might also be looking at this apart, smiling because we once felt true, young, love. & it was all i could ask for.
pure bliss in phase of youth.
I really like how when I miss you, I'll listen to john Mayer. & I always forget how much ill miss you after, in fact even more. Because I'll reminiscent the days back in vacation where I was afraid of falling for you, but there I was missing you, & listening to him actually helped then.
I liked how your Favourite music showed so much of how you are, a person full of adoration, desire & thoughtfulness. There I didn't realise the sensitivity. & i never would've guessed that we'd come to this very aday.
Where I'd be telling you again, ( after so many times ) how much I want you in my life. No matter how annoying & childish you become sometimes, I still glad you're a part of my life. Because I've never met a guy so sincere, loving & faithful.
You're not as driven, or as decisive. But I hope I can help us get through this period together, smoking is hard to quit I know.
It's never easy to quit anything. But it's okay. You'll always find the light in the tunnel, it's somewhere. & i believe in you.
Dy, I hope you understand how I've always tried to tell you what I've gone through with the people I've dated, & I need you to know that I've never been so willing to do much for a guy. But I'm willing to do it for you, I've never kissed anyone else like I've kissed you? Prolly because I've never been so comfortable with anyone. So I was never really a good kisser until you came into the story.
I love how you can cook(not bad), I love how you can always tell me things even when you know you'll get it from me ( because you know I care, & it's not a bad thing, at all ),
my boyfriend is the cheesiest.
He likes to hug me really tight.
Then wait till I say I can't breathe,
Then ask me if I need CPR.
I still want to see you with disheveled bed hair.
And see you in silly home shorts.
Maybe I’ll get your shirt one day.
I miss you already.
& guys. He's the cutest thing in the whole world.
Apart from babies & me.
( it's true )
& lately i've been neglecting/ turning my back against his love as i drown in my unhealed emotions.
I'm sorry it's not going in, the feelings are strong.
Everything that i feel, i feel for a reason & i hope you get me, i really hope you do.
Because i love you so, so much.
“I’m afraid of a lot of things, but mostly, most sincerely, I am afraid of being completely
unraveled by you, and you finding nothing you want in here.”
-L.M Dorsey
It's been a whirl-wreck of emotions yes, i do have to say.
But i know you get me.
Because i get you, & i know how we , mutually, feel blessed for another, & everything will stay as it is, as i pray.
Because i've never said this, but losing you might be what i fear for most now.
i love you
-DY
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