i was busy.... dealing with myself.

I've been so uninspired lately,
i've been told with an honest heart & i appreciated the word.

I'm going to snap out of this negativity.
&
i'm going to stay at home more.
Really, mark my words.

My bestfriend is giving me a talk.
& she's telling me
" in order to be successful in life you have to keep failing & failing & failling because once
you need a balance in being successful & a failure. "
" & if you keep failing & failing & failing & you still keep trying & pushing & doing your best baby you're gonna be so fucking successful because you tasted failure so many times & you tried so hard your efforts are gonna be seen & people are gonna love you. "

" i hate seeing you like this, you're not like this. "
" You're always happy, & positive & driven. "
" Stop crying, everything is just gonna get harder & you need to keep trying. "

It's been awhile since i've been lectured by my bestfriend, & maybe to me it only shows
how strong i've been for the past few months, & i am putting myself these days for the sake of nothing. best friend there is no reason why i should ever put myself down for not reaching my standards or my goals.
i should never stop believing in myself, because in every battle that i will face, the biggest obstacle is my comfort zone. & i'm going to do something about it.
I'm leaving that place & I'm gonna go back to the old me.
& i'm really glad that, my two favourite people are helping me out.
& i'm very sure tomorrow, i'll be getting the same treatment from lorenz but i'll react differently from it.

I can't wait to move my things now, because i finally got a new shelf. & i'm really lucky to have such a nice place.
& a nice room, with 2 full length shelves to store my books.
Books that i adore dearly.
& i will treasure for a long long time.


I'm gonna pack my room now & i'm gonna sleep.

Goodnight everyone,
i'm sorry for being the way i was before.

i think i'm better now,
please forget those really unnecessary moments where i blogged to yall vigorously bout all my insecurites & my problems.
Won't happen now, anytime soon.
Maybe never, lets hope.
Just kidding, never again alright.

Lets do this.