i'm just so, tired..

I'm sorry that i haven't been blogging as much,
i've been busy dealing with my shit.
School, life.
School.... life.

I haven't been posting much of everything but here's a fair game, i'm gonna post all my drafts out now.
on second thought, i think i shouldn't.
the best things, are the ones we wait for.

i am no good o saint, but i am a really kind soul.
my heart can sink at the slightest things.
my eyes can't stay dry on the past, the things that i've seen, the words that i've heard, the things i've been through, i wonder how.

Don't mistaken, our hearts can hold so much.
Ever heard of heartstrings?
we have plenty.
Fibre-thin like strings that keeps our heart pumping blood safely.

I think i've had maybe afew of them broken.
HA how cliche of me to think so.
I do alot in my head.

Anyways,
I've come to deal with this little ache that i've been trying to get over.
& i've come into conclusion that i only want one thing

love.
from people,
From my family, my friends, from the person i choose to live with for the rest of my life.

I hope i get better at being Amanda,
i certainly want to be a part of everyone i love.
I am surprised at how much i've hurt people.
& i have many sorries to give.

I'm sorry for all the times i've been horrible. I guess.
havent tried hard enough.
I'll try even harder.

i'm a weak person.
i'm scared of the thought of being stronger than i already am.