I'm trying my best & I hope I doing well!

I guess life takes a lot of turns. 

For me at the very least.

It's been crazy. 

Days without sleep, nights without a single fuck given. 

I've been grinding and grinding, I've been trying my best.

I just want to be the best, you know? Sometimes it's quite hard to stay at the top when you're handling a little too much. I guess I do overwork myself. I see  a lot in the things people can do and I always believe that if someone can do it I can do it too & maybe I'm wrong. I guess we all have our own par, we have our own potential. 

I'll learn from this, hopefully! 

Guess the next time I'm asked to do something bigger I'll remember to stop & think for my own well being. 

Think about why I do certain things, why I let myself run over high on certain people, what people expect of me, whether i should keep pushing myself, if anything is even worth the try. 

I promised myself a better GPA, I will make sure I get it. Give me time,

I'll do whatever I can to fulfill myself. Be it if I lose anything or anyone. Must be how pathetic we can go.

I used to never understand people who leave their loved ones for the things they love, & now I sort of get it. 

Not in a bad way, but I guess it's still pretty bad right.

Mm, it's quite complicated if I have to talk about it, or tell someone how I feel.

Just focus on your work Mandy.

Whatever, just do what makes you happy.

I thank the people who's been there. I mean, I'm grateful. 

Thanks mamasans, coven & my bitches. 

Thanks Pepek.

Thanks mom& dad, I know you're trying your best & I know I'm not being the best daughter at this time where many things are falling out of place.

I have a sharp tongue, I blame myself for it.

I have no one else to blame?

I get what I deserve, & I'll appreciate everything that comes.

Be it parenthetically or not. You know what, it's just a bad week. & it'll be over soon & everything's gonna be worth it & that's why I should keep pushing myself. 

I've got a reason there.

& im so glad I have this blog to rant to. I wished I had the strength to write in more but I'm sorry my phones the closest thing ice got & I'm pretty sick of it most of the time. 

I'll pull through this week!!!!!!

& I'll make more time for the people I love, sorry farh & Ian, & everyone else I've sort of neglected!! 

I have really bad time management. 

Compared to the rest who're doing the same, I guess I'm doing badly. 

But I'll get better & I'll keep trying! 

Workaholic whatever! 

Guess this passion will always drive me to work harder, I can't wait to bring Pepek for Genki, & I hope I'm not showing myself too much already. Maybe I got an little out of hand today, trying to move around everywhere, pleasing everyone because I care. 

I promised to never expect anything back because I'll do anything out of my own accord. I swear on the little aorta on my heart!!!!! Fresh & bold.

Till then again, life's been really good. Just need to rest up really well after this whole week is done I'll prolly get a day off soon. Pretty much need it.

As of now ILL BE GOOD.