Time to set things straight Mandy.

I've been questioning myself this the past few days and I never managed to give myself an answer, but as I saw nana ball her tears out I imagined the pain I'm putting myself through if I allow to happen again. Then as nana asked me what I felt about whatever she was going through I was thinking of what I was getting myself into, & softly to myself I finally said,  "I cannot do this again."

I cannot allow myself to drown in pity & regret of the life choices I've made, & of the things I've let myself longer around which I have to acknowledge on my side.

Sure I'll do anything for you, but I have to do it for me too. I might not be able to do it alone now, uncovering the light will be tough on my own, regardless of the support I've been offered, I have to do it myself, just in case I have nothing to hold onto anymore, I have my own ladder to climb on. 

Help from nobody, softness from nobody. You wanna get somewhere? Earn it. What have you been doing the past few days, lazing around. Running all over trying to fix yourself. You know where the answer is, stop avoiding it. Work it out. Geez. Start doing something about this.

Mandy get it going.