I Guess it's not completely necessary to do so but I just want to be prepared & keep myself open for any outcome at all. I've learnt to do all these to protect myself from unexpected circumstances.
Oh & I've also been listening intensely to fast car. It calms me down. It's such a nice song!!!!!
" Any place is better.
Starting from zero got nothing to loose. "
Been really calm about stuff. Been open to more things, have come to accept so many things. I'm really Glad I did.
One of the most things I treasure from anything I do is when I actually do get to learn something. I love improving myself. Knowing that people expect so much from me, to hear " I expect you to do this, I expected more though, I knew it." Is such a normal situation for me.
Expectations grounded me this way.
Learning more, applying it to myself makes me feel like I'm getting better, cause I'm reaching closer to everyone's expectations. & the biggest expectation I'm pressured from is from myself. I have higher expectations for myself than anyone else. I learnt that having expectations for myself doesn't mean everyone should expect the same for themselves. We all expect different things. & I get that now.
Whatever I expect from myself, that only concerns me. What they expect from themselves, that's up to them. If I can't motivate them by expecting from them, I shouldn't expect at all.
Guess I've been a tat too stressed up lately. I've been putting a lot on myself & I need comfort & motivation from certain outlets(??) which I didn't, which was why I was draining out so fast. I've learnt to put myself first. It's okay Mandy to be selfless. Just don't be too selfless. Balance it.
I've always been the kind of Friend who'd go all the way to help a Friend out. If a Friend told me:" Mandy, I need you." Sure, fine I'll go all the way to help you out. But when it comes to people who can't admit that they're wrong, that they don't need help cause they feel like they're strong enough to handle shit on their own. I can only show concern afew times to try crack their walls, but if I can't I won't help at all. They're not helping themselves. But I've been seeing it in a better light lately. We all have different wavelengths, different upbringings. But I'm done with thinking through the same things that I can't control. I've figured it all out. & I can only act on things better from now on.
I'm thankful for all my friends.
For making things clear to me. Though it might've been a lil overwhelming, I see y'all sticking through whatever.
So gandong!!
Thank you my darlings.
*hearts & hugs & sparkles*
I finished off my sketch for Micheal today,
& did another proposal for Fly, posted a sketch on insta, & I think we're gonna grab some stuff from ARTFRIEND, get some dinner & drink a little tonight.
Been saving up but I gotta ball too I work too hard to suffer in any little way HAHAHAHA. #selflove
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