How today went. (& other stuff)

I really couldn't help but talk out my feelings somewhere. Instagram is definitely a no no & Twitter doesn't provide enough characters. First & most of all I guess Mandy, me.....? I need to stop thinking about how I can make things better. I can't. All I can do now is realise all the mistakes I made, all the times I've overlooked how overly dependent & insecure I was & act on it personally on my own. For myself first. Time will tell I Guess. I really have so many things I want to apologise for though, I have so much urge to just make a phone call or drop by his place with a note. But then again I shouldn't be thinking of you now. We should both be doing things for ourselves. We made a deal to have this break to think everything through, to know what we want, & think through all the mistakes we made & whatever they are & I forgive him for everything TBH really. I myself made several mistakes and I'm learning lessons from really just all of it. Yea but, There's nothing that I can do now but to hope for the best, and god I really need to build up more appetite & excercise more!! 

Anyways!!! stayed at home all day tonight cause I've been busy caring bout myself more than my family and I promised to make time for them and I did today & I'm so Glad!! I didn't even feel like using my phone at all & I only touched it at 1130pm!! Anyway I also cooked spaghetti for my family & Kat. But Mom and dad were arguing today and they didn't have appetite so my efforts all .. Kinda went to waste but I'm not that affected by it because I kinda get how it feels. But Well, the sauce was so good though!!!! Kat really made my day a lot better today. 

Ran almost 7k today & it felt so good!!!!!!! 

Honestly didn't expect to do that well cause firstly I ran 10 mins afew days back in the morning and I literally died & I've not been running for awhile & ive been smoking a lot so I nattually thought that I was gonna die at 15 mins max BUT I DIDNT! Yes! 

Whew Mandy keep running. 

Running made me feel good. Though I was a little light headed afterwards I Guess that was just because of my bad appetite but then I'll just have to keep improving on myself as I go by and I'll be ok.