I might be a little single for awhile tonight.

Hey, it's been a really long time.
        i've been quite lost on.. wow.
i actually dont have much to say.
I dont know where to start.

i always do this, annual new years blogpost but i cant this year,because i havent had any regrets?
Or what happened. am i weird?

it's 3.51am
1st of january, happy birthday bb.
So i posted a picture, & i said
Oh hey there heard it's your 19th year of existence happy birthday my dear bb I am so grateful for the times you've been there physically & virtually constantly feeding me with love & kicks in the ass when I need them. It has been a great year with you together in tpu & keke twittwit & I hope for many many many many more years of disgusting & cute & evil & personally discreet advices in the future. I might not have been there for the last 18 years blahblah you know what I'm starting to talk really gay so it's okay I think I've said enough it's clear & I love you & I am sorry that you're booked for 10 days SEE YOU THEN BUZBUZ GAL, have a great day later & I hope you're resting well little bun muah

& i do love her.

I've been struggling abit on the trust scale and the way i'd save my life out in 10 years.
Maybe tomorrow i'd die in a pool, maybe one month later i'll lose my lover & i'll lose hope on life and i'll be a pathetic loser.
Maybe i don't know everything about life.
I might not even be ready for school,
maybe im not made for life.

This is becoming a lil negative isnt it but haha maybe im just, looking into the blunt side of things.
Things can go wrong.
But i'll definitely fight my way through.
I'll be strong.

It's gonna be hard.
& i need myself to be strong.

because it's 4am & im alone.
Damn i shouldnt do this anymore.
I'm gonna sleep after this episode.
I hope, i hate waiting around for a phone call.
I.. might seem to think too much.
But i love too much in my own perspective, and i think its cool.
So no matter what happens in the future, all systems go.
unfluctuating i will be.

i might be a lil overwrought now,
i will not be impetuous.
Let the things sink in,
they usually go slow.
Remember?