It's been tough, but i'm stronger.

I've learnt to live in a world without coax & without serendipity.
Everything happens for a reason, & i made this happen. I allowed myself to be happy, & i got to get to know people more with how much i've changed.

I've been sleeping alot less, i've been dealing with alot more.

Been socialising, making connections- good & bad, been meeting new people, hanging out with guys, it IS tiring.

But i've always loved being busy anyway.
Whenever there was time to chill, there was time to drill.
I was always ready.

I'm not going to lose out.
Because i can do this,

"Don't die now, it'd be a pity."

I'll work from that, thanks nana.
I'm going to make it,
i have no time for anything else.
Guys? Oh do come if you please, but i don't believe in love.

I've been pretty naive.
But i'll be fine. It's good.
3 hours before i wake up,
i'd end my post with only a heavy eyebag.
No matter how bad things can be, i guess i need it.
I'll need it again & again until it gets me as strong as i need to be,
better yet, stronger.

I pray to no one but myself.
I will need a lot more of mental strength & will to continue doing what im doing.

To be really honest, I've been talking to many guys, been going out with many.
Been making friends, rekindling past brohoods.

I dont seem to be living in a world, trying to fill in the void anymore.
I dont see a need to try to please anyone who has missed out in my life, nor has treated me the way i've never did to them,
Sure, i'll be fine.
I've replaced many people with you, & i can do it again & again.
I'm still doing great.

I've learnt to switch off all emotions during work.
I've learnt to leave time for myself after a hard long day,
I've learnt to limit whatever i take.
I've been living in a world of little restrictions, but with certainty & trust in myself.
Funny huh, i trust myself.

Funny how i never did, but i do now.
I so fucking do.
I'm so fucking busy i only get 2 hours to myself before i go to bed, which actually in fact cuts my rest time but i don't need rest for now,
i'll replenish that soon enough.
8 days left.
The next 8 days is going to be a fucking bliss.
So will tomorrow,
school, seesha, Swissotel with Hugo.
Sat
BOD, movie, HHN5.
I'm doing so much that i didn't get to the past 2 years, i'm loving the busy life.
Sunday
Work, commission, Rest. Rest is important.

Working my hardest to keep it all coming in constance.



& i'll be back again with more brief updates!
xx,
Mandy