Naw, Mandy. #fluffball2k16

It's my last few minutes of being 18 but generally being 19 actually really doesn't make a difference la so I guess it's fine. Y'all are right. But it's just that I've always admired the number 17&18 & these two years have been one of the best years of my life so far and will be for a Long time, I kinda know that. (-: it's pretty sad that these days will turn into memories and I'll be able to say that "I'd do anything to be 18 again" or I can really say that I'm an old person now without actually feeling bad cause at that time as I do I'll really be pretty old. I appreciate having done so much at this age thanks to all my wonderful friends who have pulled me up this ladder into the industry & I'm not quite there yet but I am on my way & I'll keep fighting. I Guess I know how it really feels now when people say that life really goes by really fast and the next thing you know is that you're having the worst time of your life trying to raise a family of 2/3 kids livin the life you could've avoided when you were younger but life just happened and here you are trying to make a living out of nothing. I Guess it's just a wise choice not to ever have kids and I'm pretty sure that as time goes by ill be able to make the best decisions for myself regardless it being selfish or not; wanting to have children or not. 

I'm on bus 80 now and I'm emotional with the fact that so much has happened & I have learnt so much over the last 2 years and I am so fucking Glad. I've climbed the biggest ladder of my life and that's the ladder of reality & acceptance. I'm really thankful for whoever that's been with me this entire time & also my parents for being so patient through all that I've been going through despite not being able to understand me wholeheartedly. 

I know you guys love me so much & I do too, I'm thankful for this family for accepting my choices & what I love, it was that's love & I am, beyond grateful for everything basically. It's gonna be a good life as I make it happen. I'll promise to stay vigilant in every aspect, to be  kind & to be myself. 

I Guess that's all that matters. Aging happens to everyone, let's not beat each other over it, I'm going to love myself more over time. Time isn't waiting for me. 

I'll do this right. No more expectations, I'll come to a point where I'm 60 & I won't be able to say this anymore. That I'm really upset to be older, cause it just happens, at least now I have the excuse of being young and childish to say these kinds of things so here's to many more years of ratchet mess, to vices, to being a retard everywhere I go & to being a kid whenever I want to, to do whatever the fuck I want, to be ignorant on the topic of  politics and whatsoever. 

I've made plans for myself, & this 19 year old will make it!!!!

It's 12 already HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA fuck me, happy birthday Mandy, I love you.