i'll mean what i say.

Things have been rough for me. Really rough.
I've been keeping things to myself. & i've been trying my best not to talk about it.
But i've been really hoping for that comfort.. really. i've been tired.
I've been upset at myself so many times. & i am sorry cause i can't even make myself proud.
Sometimes, i just want someone to comfort me, & encourage me, praise me. But i know i shouldn't expect that from anyone. I've really been trying my best to be the best of me.
When pekz was away for 6 days, i took that time off to focus on my work, on myself.

I did, i was glad i did. But things don't always go the way you need them to, i get that. & i kept everything to myself.
I really tried.
I told liz about it.
That's about it.
I'm so thankful but i'm so tired. i'll have my rest tomorrow. I hope that pekz & i end the day well tomorrow.

tbh i just watched this part which kinda, like. I dont know. It just hit me. This drama is so relatable is my life a drama series ugh. (Jk it's just afew parts)
As well as the other part that goes like Yoo Jung: " i thought we were the same, but we're completely different."

" when i'm with you, i have so many questions. but the fact that you're with me right now, that i can see your face, & hear your voice, that i can feel your warmth, those things alone, are reason enough that we should hold on."

i've never really been the kind who'd watch dramas. most of the time i dont have the time to, but it has slowly gotten to me. Maybe cause it's been relatable.
I really can't stop watching cheese in the trap, at most parts Yoo jung & seol feels like an accidental mixture of what i feel. At first it was just for entertainment, but then it got real & now it's kind of like, a comforting side story.

I won't expect what i see from the drama but i mean, it is good to see another person's perspective on their similar problems. But then again problems aren't the same. i wished pekz could watch this drama with me so we can cry to sad scenes together hahaahahahahahaha.
geez mandy stop fucking thinking so much & writing so much.
GO TO SLEEP, NOW.
being my own mom haha. i miss that.