Fuck I don't know what I'm doing anymore

I'm so angry.. I'm angry at myself. For all the times I spend worry about others that I neglect my own needs. I spent the whole month trying to adjust to everyone's needs, trying to be the best version of myself, trying to be there for anything or for anyone. It was a give and take. But I Guess maybe I'm just sooonfucked up to a point that maybe I had to puke something out. I feel like I'm going insane. I don't even know why. Mm okay I went to the toilet to puke just now, I could only let out bile & abit of food & it felt so bad.. I immediately ate some food & took some painkillers and I'm now on my bed in total hysteria of whatever happened............. I'm sad maybe I'm just.. I'm sorry I can't even tell any of this to the people I know. But you know what.. Most of the time I try, fuck God knows I do try.. Communication is the most important thing to me.. God damn it I hate this feeling.

It feels so shitty right now. It feels so bad and I'm down to my guts I don't want to feel anymore it hurts like a bitch. 

I'm going to sleep now, hopefully I'll be good to go by afternoon.