Call me sensitive, call me fucked up. Whatever, I don't give a fuck. I know what I see and I know what I feel. I have nothing else to say other than what I'm going to. I literally feel this way. I'm not gonna hide it.
Why do I try so hard to be the best Daughter, the best person to confide in, the only person that I believe that I love & get everything back like this?
I get nothing. I don't even ask Nor do I expect it. But there should be a mutual understanding and respect for certain things to be in hand. And I do not fucking understand, I need to know if I'm doing anything wrong.
Or maybe I'm just around the wrong kind of people, the people who say so much but don't cater to .. whatever physically. I'm so sick of hearing anyone at all saying "aw Mandy" or "fuck, you're so nice." "I miss you" even. Fucking do something about it, I've been doing something abit anything at all. I've been hustling my fuckig heart out and even as I'm so fucking tired & I promise myself several times to stop mentally and physically drain myself I can't seem to do it. I work so hard I fucking need this. I do not deserve anyone who makes me feel this way, this honestly feels like shit. Fuck that. I can do this. I can do this on my own. Fuck anything I was always ok with doing ok on my own. I was always ok, I hate my emotions, & I really have nothing to say anymore when people mention other people, how's this how's that. Fuck, I'm so done. I've been trying my hardest. It's all I've got, take me, or go. Sincerely, it's me. Too much emotional drive for someone so ambitious. Too much work for someone with so little time.
I need to get this going.
I wanted to post this up on my snap but I didn't want to be a negative bitch about it.
So fuck it ok, I need no fucking pity, I just need to fucking get my shit together, find out what causes these problems. "The first way to solve a problem is to realise what that there is one,"
All hail my sanity, I'm signing off.
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